Feelings after rape


1. FEAR - This is a very common reaction. You are neither crazy (a) and paranoid (a). This is a very real concern, and this feeling is hard to avoid. The rape is often a threat to life and almost always unexpected. Once you have been the victim, it is natural for you to be afraid of this happening again.




2. LOSS OF CONTROL OR ABANDONMENT - During a rape, the victim has no control of his own body for a period of time. The recurrent feelings of "losing" control can actually cause temporary changes in behavior and some difficulty in making decisions. Remember the courage to do things on their own, and try to stay active (a) in decisions that affect them.



3. GUILT - Even if you are known not to have done anything to prevent it, you may have a tendency to blame yourself (a) and constantly thinking about the "if only" - if only they had been elsewhere, if he had just escaped. Please remember that THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. The offender is guilty of this crime.



4. IRA - This is an appropriate and healthy reaction. You can express your anger in constructive ways different: to press charges, talking with others about the attack, etc.



5. SHAME - Your privacy been invaded. The medical examination and tell others about the assault can be difficult. This may even cause feelings of shame. You may want to discuss these feelings as they arise.



6. ANXIETY, EARTHQUAKES AND NIGHTMARES - These are normal reactions and eventually cease to be. Talk to others about your feelings can be of benefit. REMEMBER, YOU ALREADY ARE SAFE (A).


7. PITY - What happened to you can cause you to feel very uncomfortable (a). The attitudes of others can become inappropriate. You may want to surround yourself with people that give support and love, and to be reminded that you did nothing wrong. Remember, you were a victim of a violent crime. The assault was an attack, a violation for which you have not chosen to pass.



8. INSULATION - It is common to want to stay home or have a null feeling after the assault. This isolation is a way to increase their sense of security and let time as (a) heal emotionally.



9. WHY ME? - Victims often feel a strong need to understand why they have been chosen by the attacker. You may feel unable to accept the fact that rape is a crime often random, and that their behavior (dress, physical dimension, moral belief or personality) was not the cause for which the assailant decided choose it (a) to you specifically.



10. Distrust - you may find it very hard to trust men. If the offender was an acquaintance, you may feel betrayed (a) by his belief that "friends do you do this to their friends." If the offender was a stranger, you may feel insecure (a) around strange men, or more specifically, about any stranger with similar characteristics attacker.